I know it’s been a while since I’ve written. Sorry. I think about blogging everyday, but these last few months have been so bad for me, that each time I started to write, all I’d put down on paper was sentence after sentence of whining. So, I’d delete it and hope the next day would be better, figuring you really didn’t want to hear me blubber about my life. My wife, however, thinks blubbering, or sharing as she puts it, would be good for me, and she is a very wise woman, yet somehow it was just easier for me to suffer in silence.
This blog, then, is a small compromise.
In short, at the beginning of the summer, my doc and I had to make some adjustments to my medication because what I was using was not keeping up with the progression of the disease. Well, my body didn’t handle the adjustments. I actually blogged about Remeron, so that might give you a better idea of how the summer has gone for me.
So, with the bad reaction on my part, additional adjustments were made, and my body liked those even less. My blood pressure shot up, stayed up, and three trips to a cardiologist haven’t helped much.
To make things worse, at least in my mind, my Rheumatologist (who’s one of the most remarkable people on the planet in my opinion) took a long and much deserved vacation. Of course, I waited until he was gone before I fell completely apart, just so he could enjoy himself. I finally saw him Tuesday and informed him that on his next vacation he’s taking me with him.
However, the result of that meeting was again, more changes in medication. Including, and if you listen out your window you can hear me crying no matter where you live in the world, the removal of one of my very favorite medications. He suspects that it’s the real culprit behind my blood pressure changes, but I didn’t care, I didn’t want to stop taking it. The whole scene was pathetic, with me holding onto his leg, crying like a baby, pausing periodically to scream “No” and then crying some more. Later I felt bad for him, since he had to drag me along on all his afternoon rounds before the nurses finally pried me off his leg. However, my favorite med is no more. Sigh!
I’m trying to adjust to the new meds he prescribed, but mostly I’ve been a vegetable the last few days, in part due to the new meds, and in part because the days after the RA exam are always bad for me. Add to that that today was “shot day” and it’s not been the best week.
However, on the bright side, the summer wasn’t an entire waste because I’ve been working on two new books. Whenever I get an idea for a story, I try to get it down as a synopsis, and then I dig into background details. Names, for both characters and settings, often take me the longest to figure out. Sometimes when I’m brainstorming that, I’ll start writing out scenes to help me organize my thoughts. None of that is as fun as writing, but it all has to be done, and so that’s what I’ve been digging into during my rather sucky summer.
About a week ago I started actually writing one of the stories, and I like the results so far. I can’t sit at the computer very long before the pain gets unbearable, so I have to work a little bit here, a little bit there. This one story is coming into my head fast and furious, so I’m really bummed at how slow I have to go, with all the breaks and so forth, but writing is helping me cope with everything, so that’s a good thing.
And in the big scheme of things, I remind myself that life could always be worse, so I try to appreciate what I have now, and make the best of it. I really will try to do better on the blog thing. Marna thinks I should blog about all the medications I use, their side-effects, things like that, but I’m not sure that’s what folks want to hear about.
I admit, it’s interesting having RA and trying to establish myself as an author. Not always fun, but most definitely interesting.
